Lately, having been unemployed for the most part of the last two years, I have found that not doing my usually uber active job ( massage) and not having my regular chiropractic adjustments ( 2-3 a week) has left me feeling.. well.. NOT well!
As I have had little luck procuring new employment, I'm finding myself occupying my time with what created %80 of my clientele.. the fucking computer.. and dare I say.... FACEBOOK! I am a fan of talking to my friends.. I don't have many that live by me at the moment ( and those all have lives with Jobs, and school, and kids) , I get pretty lonely here all day with no one to converse with except the cats..
So I spend a lot of time typing.. I do try to follow my own advice on ergonomics and such, but still find myself with a bit of 'computer syndrome'.. that downwardly rotated right ( my dominant) scapula, upper ribs popping in and out at the slightest movement, and a super soft midsection.
As of late, my right humerus is literally ( and I mean literally, literally) being pulled out of its socket.. crap.. so.. I've done some stretching.. and that helps a lot.. I am as bad as my patients were about icing.. I hate to admit. So I decided that I need to do something.. ANYTHING to get back into my usually active lifestyle..
So I have a friend who decided that this years resolution was going to be to re-introduce herself to yoga.. and she posts regularly about how great she feels and yada yada.. so I thought to myself "self! you need to do some yoga".. "stretch things out" , and "gain some strength that you've lost by not massaging".. and "while you're at it self- put your alter up again and USE IT- meditate regularly and get 'back in touch'".
So , not having any of the fun 'yoga stuff' I figured I'd better vacuum my floor.. gluhhh.. my floor... MY floor has become like a flat, carpeted garbage can.. you could get down on my floor and find entire MENU's of remnants of dinners in front of the tv.... cat hair, balls of it.. and various pieces of paper... like sales tags.. little pieces of tissue that the cats have been playing with, pieces of thread that were cut from my last halloween costume that had disappeared into the shag.. you get the idea..
Now don't get me wrong.. I LOVE a clean floor.. I do.. but with Just Michael and I ( Jamison tends to sequester himself in his own room) in the house.. it doesn't get too yucky too fast.. and frankly it's the chore I do last.. when I'm usually exhausted.. which is when I say " oh well I'll do it tomorrow" and then tomorrow I say " I'll do it tomorrow".. until Friday, when I say " I don't want to do it durning my WEEKEND! I'll do it Monday".. So I got the damn vacuum out last week , with every intent on getting started ( I did try to do the mountain pose.. which doesn't involve getting down on the floor but DOES involve posteriorly rotating your pelvis and opening up your chest... much harder than you realize.. seriously), but never really did..
My best friend, who lives across Lake Washington ( again, don't get to see my friends too often) even gave me a dvd that she had been using called "Yoga for Inflexible People".. well hell that's ME for sure! and I pulled out some books and dvd's that I had on hand as well..
They've been sitting here on the table next to me, while I waited for the right mindset to set in..to get that vac turned on you see..
So during this last weekend, I said " ok self.. MONDAY you clean that floor and get started"... and Monday.. I felt like shit.. between severe spring fucking allergies, and my period trying to start.. I could barely move.. or breathe... or function at all...
But this morning.. I felt quite a bit better.. and as soon as I got home from dropping the husbear ( oh ok and stopping at Starbucks for a triple grande, six pump hazelnut, Breve and a Chonga bagel toasted, with 2 cream cheese please) I came directly home and plugged in that machine.. I got happier with each pass of the vac.. it was like a commercial.. the nap was being pulled back up and the deodorizer I sprinkled on the floor smelled DE-LISH! I was so excited.. I cleaned off the top of my beautiful Chinese Apothecary, and made space for some of the stuff that was currently residing on my new alter space. I dusted and vacuumed, asking myself, as I usually do, "Self? why don't you do this more often?"... of course I did remind myself of all my juicy rationalizations regarding WHY I don't do it more often... blah blah blah..
So! then I pulled out my big giant comfy pillows from my bed, which are filling in for the Zafu and the Zabuton that I haven't had the money to make myself yet, dusted off the tv and popped in that dvd!
Now my goal for today was simple.. I would attempt some poses with the sole purpose of assessing my flexibility, and strength.. I discovered a few things..
1) I was more flexible through the hips than I would have thought..nice!
2) I was able to do FAR more for far LONGER than I expected! Yay!
3).. strength? I have none.. I am a giant jaba the fucking HUT! MUST WORK THAT CORE!!
4)upper body flexibility? not bad on the left ( but not good either) and NILL on the right.. crap.
5) I could definitely use a block ( a small pillow didn't really help much) and a belt (I tried to use two different belts from my closet, which oddly was just laughable) and not one buy TwO yoga mats ( this is getting more expensive by the minute)....
6) and I know now why I REALLY didn't want to go to a class.. I rationalized that it was because I was so long away from any yoga practice, that I wanted to 'brush up' on what I DID know, before I embarrassed myself in front of an entire class, which, of course, would be staring directly AT ME for the entire session.. but really it's because...
I LAUGHED THE ENTIRE TIME! I couldn't get my legs to cross.. laughter.. I couldn't pull my knees up to my chest because my fat belly gets in the way... the lady on the dvd had me pull my butt cheeks apart before I sat down on my ankles that wouldn't cross... NOW I'M ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING! I crossed my arms and tried to put my palms together.. as if...
I crossed my legs and she said that the goal was to be able to tuck that top foot BACK UNDER MY OPPOSITE CALF! ARE THEY HIGH!?
Oh and BREATHING! I totally hyperventilated here on my living room floor, which again, put me in stitches..
so yeah. it was ALL funny to me! I would laugh through an entire class and get sent to the Yoga principle on the very first DAY!
I guess it's good that I can laugh at myself.. I know that my arm Does feel better even with just that little bit of stretching.. and I managed not to faint... but Gawd Damn this getting old thing just sucks.. I miss the days when I was in great shape simply from walking at work all day and dancing all night! I could eat what I wanted and I never really changed sizes.. even after I got "big" ( after between baby weight gain).. I never really fluctuated in size.. I could feel the difference in my body MASS but the size basically stayed the same.. I wasn't a yo-yo'er.. at all..
my jobs were always super active and then I chased kids around and did 20 loads of sheets per week.. I was busy.. It really is amazing what just being BUSY does for your body..
So now I sit here.. contemplating tomorrows meditation and Yoga.. haaa..
I need a cheeseburger...
